Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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