Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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