I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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