used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I had to cum in my sink.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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