ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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