Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
