If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
