the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
