Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
