so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
