It's Friday. Sex?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
