How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize