He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
