What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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