Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
