Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
