Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
