can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize