I wanna bring you to show and tell
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
