I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have fence marks all over my body
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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