No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
