After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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