Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
