Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
