Me too!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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