i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
