I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
