With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
