I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
