don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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