did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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