did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize