i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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