he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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