He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
