let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
