After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
