Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
