she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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