So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i barfeds in our rink
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Vodka?
Forever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
