Your tits are I can't wait for
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
