i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
