You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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