Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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