You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
