Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
