the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
