Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
