Sry I called you an 8
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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