I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So much rum. So many feels.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
