Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
