wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
