ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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