everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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