Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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