my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
