Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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