So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There r osticjed everywhere
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
