I didn't shave. On purpose
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
