If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We're too hungover to prance.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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