nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
